the US is unreal like girls cant wear shorts to school, you can literally lose your job for being gay, and unarmed black children are brutally murdered on the regular but old white ppl r still like “what a beautiful country. i can freely carry a gun for no reason and some of our mountains look like presidents. god bless”
Two scientists walk into a bar:
"I’ll have an H2O."
"I’ll have an H2O, too."
The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position as well as pragmatic context.
Your eyebrows are sisters, not twins.The most comforting beauty advice I’ve ever been given. (via cinniie)